Surround yourself with people that nurture you.

Choose your environment carefully.

The people that we most frequently surround ourselves with influence us in a major way. Have you ever spent an extended period of time with someone and notice you begin taking on their mannerisms? Have you ever started a new relationship and found yourself taking on different verbal expressions or dialect you have never used?

These are small examples of how the people around us influence us either consciously or subconsciously. People can also influence us in major ways, like our ideologies, values, and lifestyles. The relationships we choose to channel energy into are important in our own self-care.

Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher. – Oprah

The Effect of Toxic Relationships

Holding onto toxic relationships with friends, family, or romantic partners can affect us in negative ways. Although we are responsible for our own reactions to people, hanging around insecure, angry, or negative people can slowly chip away at our ability to safe-guard our own positive energy.

At one point I was participating in a relationship that physically made me sick. The stress and codependent behaviours I exhibited started my descent into burn out. Soon I was seeking out anxiety counseling, crumbling at the drop of a hat, and unable to care for myself, let alone another person. My physical and mental health deteriorated in a partnership I believed was essential in my life. This truly showed me the effect toxicity can have on our being.

Toxicity and codependency

If you are consistently spending time with a negative person their lower energy can begin to wear away at you. Although you can make an active choice to remain positive in the face of negativity, after a period of time you find yourself falling into bad habits. These habits include:

  • Trying to change their negative energy
  • Changing the environment around you to try to change their negative energy
  • Changing you own positive energy to match their negative energy

These coping mechanisms are natural reactions to maintaining a relationship with someone with a more negative outlook than your own. We should not take personal responsibility for other people’s state of mind or state of emotion.

Loving and nurturing people

As you begin to set course on your own healthy and fulfilling journey for self-acceptance, love, and spirituality, it becomes clearer which people in your life reflect these values. There may be individuals who embrace your changes with light and love. In other relationships it suddenly feels like there is nothing left to talk about. You realize that you are outgrowing certain people as you transition into a new stage of life.

The people that nurture you begin to stand out clearly as if their spirit is calling to you. Your conversations scratch more than just the surface. There is an element of authenticity and trust where real communication is born. These are the special relationships that you can work to grow roots up from the mutual foundation of soulful awakening.

Like-minded people and growth

Frequent places that are in alignment with your values and beliefs. The places you go are often indicative of the people you are seeking out. Of course, people at all stages of life and growth can be scattered across the world and in different communities.

If you’re seeking to grow your life in terms of health and wellness, you may find like-minded people at a new workout class, the gym, or the park. If you have been seeking to expand your adventurous and exploratory roots you may find people akin to you backpacking, at hostels, or beside you on an airplane.

It’s natural to feel a sudden pull toward someone and then recognize that there is a commonality between you that wasn’t clear to you before. When you exit one stage of growth into another, you are seeing with new eyes.

Releasing judgement and welcoming acceptance

Judgement is a known enemy of new experience. One of the first things human beings judge are each other. Calculating a person based on assumptions is our defense mechanism to make sure we are safe. Meet new people with warmth. Trust your intuition after getting to know someone. We can often sense in a few conversations who we connect with on a deeper level.

Sharing personal or intimate details

Share with people who have earned the right to hear your story. Some people who are considered empaths tend to bring out a more vulnerable side of others. They can also be prone to feeling emotionally drained or burnt out after extending their energy to others. Empaths also tend to overshare and cross their own boundaries early on.

Protect your heart. You can be loving, empathetic, and compassionate to others without exposing deep personal information immediately. The relationships where you feel a sense of earned trust and understanding are the ones that create a safe space for sharing. In many cases, people have maybe one or two of these people in their lives.

The gift of positive people

Positive people are truly a blessing and a powerful force. It’s easier to be negative most of the time. In the mundane and the hard times, positivity takes work. A notable trait that these peaceful people have is their ability to remain balanced in the face of “good” or “bad” events. Their ability to remain positive is simply flowing with the change and accepting the universe has their back. These are the people that provide stability and perspective when our own life appears to be veering off track.

Today’s Practice:

Take inventory. Look at the people in your life. Who can you relate to on a deeper level? Who do you have inspiring conversations with? Who do you confide in? Who demonstrates positivity in the face of adversity? In turn, evaluate relationships you have held on to for a long time that lack depth. Which conversations end up occupied by gossip? Who do you have a hard time trusting? Who is draining your positive energy?